im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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