just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
