First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
