Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
