yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
