I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
