the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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