I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Pants are for mortals
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
