i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
