I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
