I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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