Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
