having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
