so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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