doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
