70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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