like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
