I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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