I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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