did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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