I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
