Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The adults are the big ones right?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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