Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
