The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so explain again why im purple
no
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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