You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
