You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
