i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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