I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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