All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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