I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize