I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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