You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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