No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
3 2 1 whiskey
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
