You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
