Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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