o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
