Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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