I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
