omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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