With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
