Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
