The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
