I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize