I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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