he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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