Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
