...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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