Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
