every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
