Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
