you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize