Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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