sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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