there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
