Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
