I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You made out with two different species that night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I yelled at your uterus for you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
