Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it glows. i had to have it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
