I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
