my being single is dangerous.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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