can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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