sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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