he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
