You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
