I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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